A Whole Life?
by tardisatdownton
Summary: The life from my View of Elsie Hughes and Charles Carson before and during Downton, does it take a whole life to realise something?. Started as a T but could go up to an M in later chapters. First go so please be nice just my interpretation probably a load of waffle ALL reviews welcome they would really help :
1. Chapter 1 1876 Charles

Hey thank you for reading Slowly re writing Chapter 1 – 5 will state if rewritten or not.

May include some violence but nothing major if there is I will state it at the beginning of the Chapter.

Reviews would be loved I don't even care if it is flames or happiness just a signal whether you liked it or hated it a smiley face would have me content :D

Italics are flashbacks

Comments with ' ' around them means thoughts.

Chapter 1 (Rewritten)

1876-May

Charles – Aged 16

Walking down the field from his home he stared towards the snake of the railroad thinking intently, 'nothing left for me here I'm walking away from home', he stopped himself 'that was unimportant now it wasn't home any more forget about it', but it still played in his mind like an unwanted shadow. The locomotive chunters pulling him out of his daze, it slowly started speeding up from its stop at the coalmine he chucks his single bag onto an open carriage and follows just as quick turning to glance back out of the carriage to see the last glimpse of his hometown. He sighs 'how had he come to this? Hitchhiking on a coal train?'

Four years ago he was sat in classroom, studying like his life depended on it the possibilities it could bring, who he could be, what he could do and then it all went wrong. His mother, Rose, was a hard working seamstress there was always something to mend or washing in the house, he had learned his strong work ethic from her, often helping as he hated being unhelpful.

His mother was a widow, his father had died when he was six from a mining accident. His father wasn't even a miner he was a groom at the Lord's house, tending to the horses and exercising them. One day the mine had collapsed partially and as the village was a small one every man turned out to help, his father and two other men went looking for a missing man only for the mine to fully collapse engulfing them. He could only just remember him as his father worked long hours to make ends neat, but his mother after the accident was distraught nothing seemed to calm her so she took even more work in to forget about it.

His mother took to working twelve hours a day it didn't help her forget but numbed it slightly any way they needed the money and Charles was to young to work.

He smiled his mother was so strict about his education especially after his father died, she said it was so he could have a chance at life, he could become someone not rich but well off. So Charles worked hard and when he ended up with a scholarship at the local grammar school, he very nearly burst with pride at his mother's expression. They had a religious routine over it he boarded Monday to Friday and visited home every Friday night from 7pm to Monday Morning 5am, as the school was only an hours walk from the village.

Rose had never sought another husband during all this though a fair share of widowers came forward but she always told Charles he came first and she still loved his father and couldn't move on. Then she started talking to a local man becoming good friends with him. The local blacksmith, Ernst Chapman, God in heaven he hated that man, loathed him. Ernst was a charmer not a widower but apparently never found the time to marry.

He was known as a wheeler dealer but Rose being Rose said there was good in everyone and everyone deserved a chance. Sometimes he wished his mother wasn't so kind, but soon to Charles' absolute dismay, Ernst and his mother were wed.

The minute the ring was on her finger Ernst's personality showed its true colours, not instantly Ernst kept working for a bit but slowly he started drinking. Bit by bit his mother's savings disappeared and Ernst became possessive his mother could talk to no one any more and because of it her contacts stopped giving her work so there was hardly any money coming in.

Rose always tried to keep Charles oblivious to the problem but he knew what was happening, he tried giving his mother some food from his school but his mother was horrified saying it was no more than stealing and he was never to do anything like this again. Ernst was fired within the year not that he did much work anyway he expected Rose to do everything. His mother tried to make ends neat but they were nearly destitute he felt so guilty every time he laid down in his warm bed at school.

He worked 14 hour shifts Saturday and Sunday doing any job available, his good nature towards his mother took over his school work he couldn't stand the state she was in and tried to help. He remembered the letter that finally broke his mother.

_Mrs Chapman,_

_I am writing to inform you that you son, Charles Carson, has not kept up a high enough standard of grades needed for his scholarship. It seems over the past few months work has not been completed, he is constantly tired, and Charles has given excuse after excuse but after these examination results I can no longer ignore it._

_It is with my greatest displeasure that I must expel Charles from the school due to failing to meet standards. I do this with a great amount of regret, Charles has always been an exceptional student always within the top three students, but has now fallen within the lowest scoring 20 students. _

_I will provide Charles with a provisional set of marks so he may apply for another school or work I also enclose a reference._

_Yours Sincerely_

_Sir T. Moore_

_Headmaster_

Even now 2 years later it made him shudder the look of utter disbelief and disappointment on his mother's face it broke him, However she had then realised the man she had married had ruined her son's chances, as Ernst never worked she had taken everything on and almost forgot about how it would affect Charles.

She couldn't leave Ernst though he was too mentally controlling, he always seemed to make it his mother's fault calling her an useless wife and mother. Charles had always tried to protect his mother but Ernst being the head of the household had him working long shifts at the local factory saying he would chuck Charles out if he didn't comply and Charles didn't want to leave his mother alone with Ernst any more. Charles had began to notice the bruising on her face and arms, but he was powerless he had no money as Ernst took it all and no where else to take his mother.

He was chucked out of home yesterday, his 16th birthday, he knew he would be Ernst hated him, it was only a matter of time really. His mam had cried throughout his goodbye holding on to him for dear life but she told him to go escape while he could. Even now sat on the train he had to brush his tears away at the image of his mother's broken face.

He had met Harry Moor last year when he did an odd shift at the pub; Harry said there was a lot of job opportunities in London, jobs that could get him big money if he wanted, so that is where he is heading.

PLEASE R&R


	2. Chapter 2 1876 Elsie

**Thanks for coming back**

**Again all reviews welcome even bad ones.**

Chapter 2 (Rewritten)

1876

Elsie – Aged 13

She woke up to her sister calling her for breakfast as normal, she sighed heavily same old routine, she wished she could sleep in but that was for the rich her mam said, people who had no work to do. She dragged herself out of bed and somehow in her half asleep state got dressed and washed and actually made it to the kitchen. Her sister, Caroline, sat at the table with her mam, Anne, both talking about all the work that needed doing today. She groaned no school today she only went 3 days a week to learn some English and a bit of maths her mother was expected to teach her anything else she needed, and her mother didn't think she needed to know that much.

She was needed on the farm same as ever, her father needed her and her sister, every day the same routine of milking, collecting the eggs, gardening, sowing, cooking, cleaning being a women in the farming world wasn't easy.

She lived on a farm in rural Scotland it was tough but her mam and dad always made sure there was food on the table and heat in the house, she knew what hard work was and knew she would probably have the same life as her mother. It didn't fulfil her like it did her sister get a husband, marry and have a family; she wanted just that little bit more from life. Though she would never admit it aloud as she knew her parents would more than likely take offence.

She had read about working girls in the cities such as housekeepers and secretaries where you could work and be respected for being an individual, she wanted to do it but it wasn't an option farm girls just didn't do that, even she knew that at 13. Even though every day while she worked she imagined she was someone important with job where people looked up to her.

She began working like normal dreaming again of what it must be like to be a fancy lady with lots of clothes and jewels, just like any girl who wasn't rich would imagine, trying to cope with the jobs in hand. She knew that if she worked especially hard this week her pa might let her go to the village dance with Caroline who was old enough to chaperone but she wouldn't need it, who would look at her twice?

Boring looking with normal born hair that was never neat and boring features no male would want to court her ever not like they did Caroline, every boy in the village wanted her hand in marriage. Caroline was pretty though light green eyes and golden hair that sat perfectly no matter how much work she did.

She was pulled from her train of thought by a deep pulsing in her stomach she suddenly felt ill but it passed like a wave but it kept coming back. She tried to ignore it but by tea she was sick as anything, her sister noticed instantly and pulled her upstairs before mam could see her, much to Elsie's confusion.

Caroline pushed her into the bathroom and asked through the door if she was bleeding, she didn't understand but when she checked her drawers they were covered. She started panicking you only bled if you were hurt didn't you? Caroline explained calmly about 'a course' and it just meant her body was ready for children, that shocked Elsie "CHILDREN Caroline in thirteen" her sister just laughed "It don't mean you have to have them immediately after you fool". She was soon sorted out after getting Caroline to stop laughing at her outburst, she asked why she didn't let mam know and Caroline replied it wasn't a polite society topic.

After her near death experience well that was how she saw it, her pa finally agreed for them to go to the dance she got out her Sunday best dress and put it on feeling like a grown woman, and pinning her hair up fancily, feeling slightly put out when Caroline stood there perfect as ever.

It was good really, she didn't expect it to be, she danced until 9, being twirled around by an array of boys, some couldn't believe it was her. A certain lad who danced with her stuck in her mind, a farmer called Joe Burns, he was 15 and quite the gentleman, he asked about her and seemed to be interested. She knew it was fake though nothing more than basic respect and a chance that she may marry him. However she left feeling elated someone had noticed her, Caroline had twenty boys noticing her. Of course she would have to tell pa about Joe apparently parents were meant to sort out relationships, she didn't see why how did her parents know if she liked someone?

Caroline whispered to her that night how to court correctly it was all about letters and being proper, such as not being alone with the boy in question. Not just rushing in head first, "that's how loose women are made" Carline said, and she must be right because she was her sister and she wouldn't lie. She knew what was expected of a women , and she knew how to behave but it was harder than she imagined.


	3. Chapter 3 1876 Christmas Charles

Chapter 3

1876 – Christmas

Charles – Aged 16

It had been 6 months since that fateful train journey when he had left all he had knew but the feeling was just as raw. He had met Harry off the train at Kings Cross, and seen the new job. A stagehand, maintenance, for a man who was in the top 10 students in his class he found it hard to accept but he knew work meant survival so at 5 pounds a year he didn't turn his nose up at it.

He was in his lodgings; a small bare room with a cast iron bed, when a man called Charles Griggs introduced himself, Stout with shifty look about him. He was uneasy probably because the last person he knew with a smile like that was Ernst. Griggs had helped him get settled with everything, but too soon he realised Griggs wasn't all he seemed. Griggs had a slight tendency to fall into ill ways with no image of the consequences, nothing too bad and the other staff just ignored it. Griggs asked for him to join him dancing on stage it was extra money and as Griggs said any money was good money, he had realised that he had nothing else to lose the extra money might even help him get out of here, and so the Cheerful Charlies were born.

The first time on stage he nearly died, he wanted the ground to swallow him up he enjoyed dancing but not like this, a laughing stock of others. He couldn't even feel happy when the extra money came he just felt empty, he stayed because he had nowhere else to go. No school grades, no experience, no reference he could only get a job in something like this and he might as well stay where he was accepted by the other people around him. If his mam could see him now, god she would die of shame, he sighed he had thought about home again and the sense of loss came flooding back.

He had sent letters home every week with meaningless prattle about his life, keeping the dancing part out of it, he hardly got a reply the first one he did was in July.

My dear Charlie,

I am glad to hear you are safe and well, especially as you are in a job I always knew you would land on your feet. I am so sorry about this situation I cannot leave it but I can make sure you are not involved. I am fine and well before you begin worrying as I know you will do. I miss you dearly yet my love to keep you away is stronger, I pray you continue writing and do not dwell on the past too much.

All my love

Mam

He read it and sobbed; even now it still opened the wounds of that first time. To know his mother was not safe but defenceless to do anything, he realised this when he went to visit at the beginning of December. The once warm welcoming house was no better than a ruin, freezing cold with his mother wearing an overcoat inside, thin as a matchstick. It broke him he tried to get her to leave but mam answered she was a good Christian wife and she would not abandon her husband, she was too proud. Ernst had returned from the pub in such a rage, he had tried to stop him from hurting mam but Ernst had just taken him out. His mam ended up on the floor beside him she had just got up picked him up and walked him to the station saying never return, she couldn't bear to see him hurt. He left regretting his weakness vowing to get enough money to pay for a divorce for her.

Now on Christmas Eve he had never felt so alone the party at the theatre was good and everyone was happy but Christmas was for family and he was miles away, knowing that there it was just pain. He knew then there was no way out.


	4. Chapter 4 1876 Christmas Elsie

Chapter 4

1876 – Christmas

Elsie – Aged 13

She ran downstairs, it was Christmas her favourite time of the year her pa didn't have to work as hard so he was around a lot more Caroline had the day off from her market stall and mam was cooking a feast, a goose her father had raised all year. She still had to get the milk and the eggs but that needed to be done in double quick time so she could get to morning service at church then home for the fun. She was finished and halfway cooking breakfast when Caroline came downstairs, "God you're up early church won't go any faster you know". Sour puss she could dream it would.

Once out of church she scooped up some snow and chucked it at Caroline they fought all the way back and were soaked by the time they were in the kitchen. Her mam only laughed something Anne hadn't done in a while. Once dried they sat in front of the fire and exchanged gifts Caroline received a new coat as the elbows on hers had worn away, Mam got a wonky sowing bag (made by her) and a bead necklace from Caroline, Pa got the matching uneven hat and scarf set from her and a pair of gloves Caroline (noticeably neater in knitting style). She had received a new dress green with a grown up bunched back and lowered neckline she instantly loved it.

It was a nice change the other 3 members of her family have seemed on edge for ages, she could sense it something was wrong but she didn't know what. Mam was snappy, Caroline was trying to do mam's job as well, and pa had taken to taking less time at work. The farm was going strong so it was a mystery to her what was wrong but she knew better than to ask. She wanted to help but she was too young to work and her household skills weren't fantastic she had taken to looking in the local paper for odd jobs, with no luck, she thought a piece of extra income may be welcome. She had just become very afraid that something big was happening and she couldn't help.

In bed that night after the most fantastic Christmas, she snuggled down in her shared room Caroline was still getting ready for bed when she heard this most deafening crash. Caroline had told her to stay in the room rushing out and locking the door she shouted at the top of her lungs to be let out, she was afraid was mam or pa hurt? Was it something dangerous? Caroline came back and just held her, not letting her leave the room. She sobbed into her shoulder until she was calm everything only just beginning.


	5. Chapter 5 1878 Charles

Thank you for reviews had a bit of a block to see where this was going hope its OK :)

WARNING: Bit of violence but nothing major.

Chapter 5

Charles – 1878

Two years later and he was still on stage still trapped like one of Sabrina's snakes helpless to his own situation. Griggs on the other hand was loving it more money, a bit of fame and a safe hold for his dodgy doings, he was becoming very problematic Charles had already caught him stealing twice from the other performers. He was horrified he had only stolen once a sweet from the corner shop when he was six, God he remembered how his mum had walloped him, but he had never done it again. He couldn't shop Griggs in he was very matey with Harry both of them petty criminals, it was a pointless argument.

His only release was a young lady called Betty Dawes at 17 years of age they had been secretly courting for two months. He still couldn't believe he had her, especially after their first meeting. He saw her across the backstage and melted she was a cousin of one of the acrobats, enquiring after a job as the theatre's secretary. Deep green eyes and red curls that cascaded she was the image of stereotypical Irish. He knew she was different the way she had brushed past Griggs and the other males lusting after her like she could already see their intentions.

_She came in early February he was sorting some ropes out behind the scenes grumbling after finding out that Griggs was in some form of bother again, he fails to remember what now. She had walked across like a fine lady with an education holding out her hand with no glimmer of nervousness._

_ "Hello, I am Betty Dawes I am looking for a Harry Moor? Is he available to speak to at the minute?"_

_And he just stood there like a fish out of water, gaping, while his brain was screaming say something you idiot. _

_ "Are you quite well? you look very flustered" Her caring manner and deep searching eyes left him reeling, that emotion had been alien to him for two years near enough. He felt someone poke him in the back._

_ "Umm...Hello..My name is Charles Carson" He finally took her hand shaking it gently "Harry isn't around at the minute...Um..Nice to meet you Miss Dawes" Well he thought that could not have been any worse if he had tried._

_ "Its very nice to meet you Mr Carson"_

_ "Charles, Charles is just fine" He hated the formality of Mr Carson it was for people with respect and at the moment he had none what so ever._

_ "Then Betty is just fine with me Charles" Her smile was infectious he had never met anyone quite like her. "You don't know where Helios is do you? I would like to speak to my cousin If Mr Moor is not available"_

_ "Oh your Helios' cousin, he said he was expecting you he is currently not in either but if you would like to take a seat I am sure they won't be long" He felt slightly safer Helios was a cobbler's son from Leeds she can't be upper class like he thought she was, middle class at a push. "would you like a drink?"_

_ She had sat down on one of the cardboard boxes looking at him intently like he was a creature from the new world, "No thank you it's quite all right..."_

_ "Mrs Dawes I presume?" Harry had walked in double taking when he saw her, a small smile flitting over his lips almost like when a fox spots a chicken a lusting, it made Charles' skin crawl. She stood up and took Harry's hand, and was led to his office._

_ "Good Day Charles" She smiled over her shoulder and he just raised his hand he had no __chance if Harry had his teeth in her._

He smiled, after many meetings in the corridors and quick little talks he had asked he to luncheon at a local restaurant, as usual he went completely to pot around her. He remembered stuttering and umming when he saw her stood there dressed up in a flannel print dress, a vision of beauty he thought no one could be prettier. They had just stepped out together today walking through the theatre like a long married couple every man had glared at him everyone of them had tried their luck with her to no avail. Griggs was seething it was surprising he hadn't punched Charles to the ground by now.

_"Have you seen that new secretary Charles?" Griggs had said before going on stage the same day he had met Betty_, "_A catch don't you think I am defiantly going to have a go a women like that should be on my arm the envy of everyone else, my new property" he had laughed. All throughout this Charles had just stopped blood pressure rising, Griggs sounded just like Ernst, Charles had to physically stop himself from throttling Griggs._

_ "She is not an object Grigg's she has opinions and feelings and no women should be treated as property" he spat out glaring at him._

_ "This my friend is why you will never get laid unless you pay for it you are far to nice" At that moment the curtain went up, it had just saved Grigg's from having a broken neck._

_ Two days later and after blanking Grigg's for the same time Charles was walking to the offices to drop off some papers for Harry to look at when he heard a noise. He stopped to listen, Grigg's voice he knew it probably trying to convince Betty that he hadn't been paid when he had._

_ "Come on darling me and you could have something good" Charles froze "you may sit there like the bloody virgin Mary, all pure but I am a man and you will give me what I want, or I will take it by force" Grigg's was lent over the desk leaning over Betty being upfront in her face, leering at her, she looked terrified, suddenly he went round desk and picked her up pinning her against the wall, kissing her forcefully. Charles banged into the office pulling Grigg's off her and chucking him to the floor._

_ "WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING?" Charles was seething._

_ "Oh get over yourself you sad man we had a disagreement that's all" Grigg's still had a stupid smile on his face like he had achieved something, Charles just wanted to knock his head off ._

_ "I think Helios might kill you first you IDIOT!" Grigg's lost his cool and walked out muttering something._

_ "I am NOT A FRIDGED WHORE" Betty just glared at him finally remembering what happened "GET LOST JUST GO" Grigg's had walked out then admitting defeat. Charles picked up a handkerchief from his pocket passing it to her. She took it gratefully sobbing silently._

_ "I am sorry you shouldn't have to deal with that"_

_ "You have no need to apologise, Griggs is a character to say the least" He stared at her apologies for something that could never be her fault, from that moment he knew he wanted to be more than friends._

He shivered still haunted by that moment, he smiled at her on his arm like he was someone important.

" I still can't believe someone like you would want to step out with someone like me"

"Charles what do you mean? Someone like you?" She looked worried.

"I mean who am I a performer you could do so much better" he smiled sadly.

"I am not having that to me you are a someone, a gentleman and we will get out of here together each step of the way" Her optimism was infectious, he kissed her passionately in front of everyone not caring, she responded smiling happily up at him. Life was looking up slightly he knew what happiness was and he wasn't letting it go. 


	6. Chapter 6 1878 Elsie

Sorry for the bit of a Break but school took over *sob *

I hope someone is still reading this :D

Chapter 6

1878 Elsie

Aged 15

It had been just about two years since her father had collapsed after that fateful christmas day, Elsie mused day dreaming out of the window. The doctor Caroline had fetched said it was a 'brain problem' it was relative new area of medicine so he didn't feel confident treating it but if we wanted to spend money on a specialist he would put us forward. Mother nearly died when she heard how much and said a firm no we would cope.

Cope that is a nice way of putting it a farm is hard enough to run enough without one of the main workers ill, not that pa would say he was ill, so Elsie had to drop out of school shortly after and work full time on the farm. She remembered that conversation clearly.

_Jan 1877 "Elsie can you come downstairs a moment" Her mother called, grudgingly putted down her book she had obeyed to find her father sitting with her mother, this was never a good sign. _

"_Elsie you do realise that now your father is ill" Her father shot a look that could kill "Well ageing you do realise it is partly your responsibility to help out more" _

"_You don't mean full time do you ma? But what about my education? I need that as well" Elsie was distraught those three days at school were pure release to her._

"_Yes well maybe not at the moment darling but soon" Her mother was trying to make the best out of a bad situation you could tell but for once Elsie wasn't going to put up with it she had goals in life she would not give them up._

"_NO Ma, I need this I love school, I don't want to end up living on the farm married to some man who probably won't care about me, with an education I could get a better job in a city and find someone who cares about me, I want to do something with my life be proud of it" as she finished she saw her mother's shocked face and her father's darken with anger._

"_Let me tell you Elsie Hughes, you are 13, you are in my house, you abide my rules and you will give up these fanciful dreams" Her father stood up and stepped towards Elsie who promptly backed away the fear of god slowly seeping in to her "I don't care if you want this and want that, you are a farmers daughter and you WILL NOT BE ASHAMED ABOUT IT" _

"_Pa really... I didn't mean...Please" Elsie felt the tears forming when he grabbed hold of her upper arm and pulled her round to face him, "I only meant-"_

"_WHAT? ONLY MEANT WHAT? TO INSULT ME AND YOUR MOTHER AND OUR WAY OF LIFE? IT ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR POXY EDUCATION" He held her by her shoulders bellowing in her face "IT IS NOT A DISHONEST WAY OF LIFE WE ARE RESPECTED, WOMEN WITH EDUCATIONS ARE MOCKED AS THEY ARE NO USE, A TRADE IS A USE, AND WE HAVE BEING TEACHING YOU ONE ALL YOUR LIFE GIRL"_

"_But pa It doesn't appeal to me a farmer I like has asked for a betrothal and I turned him down as I don't want to be a farmer's wife I can't deny it" she shook with fear she never spoke back to her parents ever. Her father just stared like she was someone he didn't know, he just let her go and turned around as if searching for a solution, Elsie breathed out, then the back hander came knocking her off her feet. The pain was unbearable the taste of blood in her mouth, the tears frozen in shock, he had never hit her ever._

"_Never say anything like that again young lady, you are a child, and have no say in the matter, you will go back to this farmer and say you were hasty with your decision, you can wait two years to marry him, you will leave school it has put too many expectations in your head, you will work on the farm I don't care if you don't like it and if I ever... ever here such words come out of your mouth again with such disrespect I will knock you into next year to teach you respect my girl" Her father was deeply calm and it was so much more frightening, Elsie sat there holding her face. "Do you understand?"._

_Elsie couldn't speak, she shook everything she wanted in life taken away in an instant by a man who was suppose to support her. Her father just stared at her "Elsie? Answer me girl!" He took two steps towards her, suspecting another punch, she stammered "I understand pa, I will go to see Joe in the morning and give up school"._

_Her father nodded "Anne just leave her there, if she is so mature in the world she can pick herself up" he beckoned to her mother who just stared at her as if she could not believe what had just happened, but Anne rose and began to walk upstairs with her father. "Elsie this is for you best interests you will thank us one day" her mother's statement stung, and with that her mother turned and retreated up the stairs._

Elsie shook at the memory since then she had been punished for the slightest thing, like not doing a job fast enough, or apparently giving attitude when asked to do something. It wasn't regular but her father's brain problems brought on a bitterness to keep her controlled, well she thought it was the brain problems what else could it be? It was alright for Caroline she had married Tom Hawes the farmer who wold get the farm when father died. She was the perfect daughter, married, probably pregnant, the perfect farmer's wife.

She sighed she had told Joe she would marry him after her sixteenth birthday he was overjoyed he had just turned eighteen and seemed content with Elsie. She did not feel the same but if she had to marry a farmer she would it rather be someone she knew respected her at least. Trapped at 15 who would believe it. The book in her lap slid to the floor with a thud, _an introductory guide to english history, _Mrs Marks her old teacher met her in the village every week at church to give her a new book so that she may still learn, to her educated females were everything and Elsie adored her for it. Obviously the book was kept under a loose floor board in her room, she would be dead if her parents knew, she placed the book back in it's hiding place.

She sighed in July next year she would have to marry Joe and her life would be set in stone, boring routine every day, she was going slowly mad just thinking about it, she wasn't even sure if she wanted children. Making her way downstairs she picked up the newspaper it was folded over at the advertisements section a paragraph caught her eye.

WANTED GIRL UNDER TWENTY ONE FOR HOUSEMAID DUTIES PREFERBABLY WITH NO EXPERIENCE AS TRAINING WILL BE GIVEN GOOD RATE OF PAY. CONTACT MRS MCPHEE AT HOUSE EDINBOROUGH.

Elsie just stared a way out she would apply she could have a respectable job with oppurtunities she would apply and pray this was her chance to escape.


	7. Chapter 7 1879 Charles

**First of all a great big THANKYOU to everyone who is hanging in there I know it has been a while.**

**Most Importantly THANKYOU to Happyheart2 whose review made me want to add to the story again. :D x**

**As always please Read and Review flames or no flames all are welcome.**

Chapter 7

Charles January 1879

Age 18

It had been just over sixth months since he had stepped out with Betty, it seemed so strange to be courting, he never thought a self respecting women would walk out with a showman but here she was. He was so grateful for her, she always knew what to say, always knew how to make him feel better and never judged him. He remembered last christmas and shuddered thinking what might of happened if Betty had not been there for him.

_Dec 1878 He had sent a customary card to his mother along with his Christmas bonus with the hope she may use it to visit him and Betty for Christmas, only to receive a letter three days after not in his mother's hand._

_Dear Charles,_

_This is Mrs Davidson from your home village, I feel I must write to you for your mother's sake. We as a community hardly ever see her and when we do the once strong women has faded to a ghost. I don't like to pry, and know it's hardly my place to interfere but is there a chance you could visit her? She will not listen to us and if she does not get out of the house soon we feel she may not survive much longer, I have seen street children with more fat on their bones. I hope you can and talk some sense into her._

_Yours Sincerely_

_Mrs A. Davidson _

_He had travelled up to Yorkshire almost instantly with a rushed note left for Betty, when he had arrived at his former home it looked derelict. His mother's face was one of shock when she saw him walk up the path,_

"_Charles you should not have come" hugging him fiercely instantly negating her words._

"_I had to see you, I have had no letter for almost four months now, I was worried for you" Charles had hug her back almost able to feel her ribs through her corset. _

"_Oh my Darling, you shouldn't worry about little old me" Leading him in to the once shining house, now just the bare minimum with an unwelcoming air to it, it nearly broke him. Then he heard the thud from the doorway._

"_Look what the cat dragged in, back are you? Unable to make anything of yourself in London?" Ernst slurred all of his words looking drawn and bloodshot, holding the doorframe to stay upright._

"_Well I certainly didn't come to see you" Charles turned away and looked back at his mother._

"_You ungrateful little bastard after all I have done for you" He took a lurching step forward with a menacing look on his face, Charles was using all of his self control not to respond._

"_Don't talk to my boy like that Ernst" His mother was visibly shaking as she said it._

"_And you don't tell me what to do you useless bitch, can't even bring enough money in for me to survive" Ernst spat at his mother and that was the red rag to the bull for Charles, it only took four steps for him to grab Ernst by the collar and have him pinned against the wall._

"_I am going to make a few things clear you pathetic little man, and you WILL listen to them" It was still a miracle to Charles how he hadn't punched the snivelling man yet, "One, you did nothing for me I lost my place at a grammar school working my backside off because you lost your job and left all of the income to my mother then you chuck me out at sixteen"._

"_HOW DARE YOU! ..." Charles just raised his voice and spoke over him._

"_Two my mother is the most fantastic women and you don't deserve her, you played on her kind heart and deeply religious beliefs to make your way into the household, you then beat her for no reason and treat her like she is nothing" He was slowly building himself into a rage, "Three you don't deserve any attention you sit and drink all day doing BLOODY NOTHING, you then have the audacity to complain about your situation, well let me tell you Ernst Chapman scum of the earth, you will NOT HURT MY MOTHER AGAIN, YOU WILL GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE AND NEVER RETURN, AND IF I SEE YOUR FACE AGAIN I WILL KILL YOU" Charles finished breathing deeply and glaring at the dumbfounded man in his hands he dropped him and walked to his mother who was in a state of shock. Until he felt a a firework of pain on his left temple, Charles span round his fist connecting with Ernst's jaw, he stumbled backwards from the blow and fell his head hitting the table with a resounding thunk. Charles could only stare he had never hit someone before, he didn't know what to do, he didn't expect that to happen, his mother ran forward and stemmed the blood flow, checking for a pulse._

"_Charles get some help, QUICKLY"_

_Everything had then passed in a blur, running to get Dr. Thomas, Ernst coming round, the police arriving being bundled into the cart, his mother crying, sitting in a cell and explaining to a detective what happened, to be released on a caution, he found his mother waiting outside._

"_He is going to be fine Charles, the alcohol apparently has done him more harm he won't be released from hospital for a while" it was only then he realised he was outside York Prison, the tears flowed freely down her face._

"_I … I am sorry mother I didn't mean to... it was an accident" He couldn't find the right words._

"_I know my boy, I know thank you for speaking up for me, you sounded like your father, it was quite scary actually" He met her eyes to see no anger or disappointment only pride, he managed a small smile. "Now go back to your girl and make me proud"_

He hadn't gone straight back to London he decided to stay a few days, he had to stay at the pub as he was not allowed near the house or Ernst again, his mother had promised him that she would be fine. He should of stayed with her though, Ernst had returned to the house drugged up to the heavens, the day after he had fallen down the stairs pulling Rose with him. He had broken his neck on impact at the bottom and Rose with her fragile body had suffered several broken ribs he remembers arriving at the house, after his mother had not visited him that day, and seeing his mother lying there on the floor, He broke down from all of the emotion of the past few days, the fear of maybe killing a man, to his anger, to his shame, to his despair of seeing his mother laid there. She was taken to hospital in a serious condition, Betty had rushed up the minute she received his telegram.

"_Charles oh my god" Betty pulled him into a rib crushing hug, he had hugged back glad of her warmth and familiarity, "The telegram you sent was sparse is she going to be alright?"_

"_Apparently,... she has woken up, but her ribs are still mending..." he broke down again sinking into a nearby chair the tears rolling down his cheeks "I should of stayed with her Betty, made sure he didn't return like I told her I would, Now look at her in the hospital bed hurt by him again, I should of been protecting her, looking after her, not dancing on some stage in London with no self respect, and no future". Betty had just sat in front of him holding his hands listening intently._

"_You did everything you could Charles if you had stayed in those early days he would of only have hurt you more, it gave you mother piece of mind to know you were safe" she had thought intently for the right words "You can't protect a women who does not want to be protected nor save one from her situation, if you had gone back to the house the police would have wrongly blamed you for Ernst's death due to the other incident"._

_She had wiped away his tears holding his face in her hands, "You have the greatest amount of self respect of any man I know Charles Carson, you are not a petty criminal as many men in your situation would have chosen, you have a honest job, and as for a future we can find one together, I promise my love"_

Her comforting words had pulled him from his self made pool of guilt and shame, but the way to the light wasn't clear yet his mother had died suddenly in her sleep that same night, 23rd December 1878. He had felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest, the hole filled with despair like there was no way back. Betty had sat there night after night just holding him, through his sadness and tears, listening to his stories of better times. His mother had liked Betty instantly that short time in which she had met her saying "Look after my boy", he was glad of her blessing especially when they buried her.

He was laid down now almost a month after with Betty in his arms her hair falling like a red river over his chest, her breaths coming out sweetly and even, the pain still as fresh as a knife cut. He was reading the job section of the newspaper, looking for a job that did not require qualifications. Betty had suggested the army but after his two month national service back before he met her had put him off for life. Then a small advertisement had caught his eye **Wanted : Male persons for work in the service, must have a respectable personality and appearance, position will depend on interview and experience, reference required. Mr Roberts, Eaton House, Cambridge. **He stared intently at it, his reference from school was good enough and the army had given him a glowing report when he had left there was no chance Harry would give him a reference, but a well written letter scripted by Betty might just get him there. He felt a glow the service that was respectable and he could work up the ranks and be respected by his peers, he glance at the empty bed where Griggs normally slept, at the pub again loosing all of his money. Charles was sure Griggs and Harry were up to something illegal he just couldn't put his finger on it, anyway he thought holding Betty closer it wasn't his main worry at the moment getting a job at Eaton Place was.

**THANKYOU FOR READING AS ALWAYS PLEASE READ AND REVIEW**


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